Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Cafe Holiday (or a fluffy poem about candy based on an earlier entry)
The crusty cube is covered white with flakes A prickly, sweet and loosened coat which falls In pieces: messy, pale against dark wood. Biting in, taste buds find a very new And gooey sort of treat. Inside, The flavor’s nutty, amber-colored, rich. It makes me think of winter days when school Is out and kids escape to play in snow. Returning home at dusk, happy and cold, They peel off layers. Warmth is what they find, And dinner: day well-lived. But snowy-days End like café candy, melting away. One piece of hazelnut Turkish delight Can’t write a thesis, make decisions, fix An aching heart. Too much will only make You sick or poor or fat. But ten minutes Ago there was no end: now there has been.
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Great revision. Rewrites generally improve with cutting, but what you added here gives a more contemplative side to the sensory richness of the image, and that really rounds out the whole. The connection now between the Turkish delight, a day in the snow, and finding the right way into the future challenges the notion that a day well lived is enough on its own. Days string together. Can our past heal our future? We can't count on past pleasures to carry us forward without continued effort.
ReplyDeleteReally interesting for its interplay of personal history, pleasure, and desire.
I like it a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much Carl! Your words are really encouraging and so is the fact that the things I was thinking about actually came through, somehow. Sometimes that doesn't happen and it's always unfortunate.
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