An Imperial Affliction, is a book that Hazel loves so much it is difficult for her to discuss with others. It is "a book so special and rare and (hers) that advertising affection for it felt like a betrayal."
Strangely, these sentiments of Hazel toward her favorite book resonate with some of my own feelings about one of my own favorite books....Can you guess what it is? The Fault in Our Stars
I have personal reasons for loving this book. It has meant a great deal to me in a very difficult time. It meant a lot to my mom when she was sick, and it was the last book she read. It also meant a lot to my dad. That's all I'm going to say about that. I know that many people resonate with the themes in this story, which is why I am blogging about it, but part of me also feels, like Hazel, that this is "my" book.
Unlike Hazel, I do not find it difficult to advertise TFIOS. Especially since the film has come out recently, I have taken many opportunies to talk to people about John Green and his books, and encourage fellow movie-goers to read the book as well (I thought the movie was a really wonderful adaptation btw). I really want people to read that book, because even though I have personal attatchments to it, there are so many messages in the book itself which are important and relevant to anyone. It's "my book", but I feel like it can and should be "your book" too.
Despite my enthusiasm for this novel, the sheer volume of metaphors and ideas within it make it very difficult for me to discuss verbally. A conversation about the book may start this way:
"Have you read The Fault in Our Stars??? It's so good. Like so good. You really need to read it."
Then things quickly become like that scene from Elizabethtown when a drunk Chuck desolves into a puddle emotion and starts jabbering "Death and life and life and death...right next door to each other...there's like...there's not a hair between them!"
Then I just want to scream:
"ALL THE FEELS!!!!"
It's just so blastedly difficult to adaquately verbalize my love for this book!!! However, I have picked out a few of aspects about TFIOS which I think are very important, and I am going to try to (briefly) point them out. Goodness, this brevity thing will be tricky.
1. Most kids think they are immortal, right? Not the kids in TFIOS. Kids with cancer have an overwhelming awareness of dying, of the life they would want to live if they were healthy, and of the loved ones they will leave behind. We are all dying, yet this awareness is not one that we all have. However, it is an awareness that we will, at some point, all experience. Everyone will reach that point of regrets and wondering what life would be like if there was "just more time". Sounds depressing right? Well, as Hazel Grace points out on the first page of TFIOS "Depression is not a symptom of cancer, it's a symptom of dying." At the beginning of the book, she is depressed. Not only is she dying, she is not really living. This book is about embracing the truth of our own mortality while still choosing to live a life that is real and full. It's a brave thing to do, not just for kids with terminal cancer, but for anyone who's alive.
2.A long with learning to embrace both living and dying comes the topic of "oblivion" (AKA Augustus Waters' greatest fear). He fears no one will know or remember who he is. However, as the love story between these two characters develops, he finds merit in not only being loved widely but deeply. There is infinite value in choosing carefully what and who you will make your mark on and embracing the beauty and pain that comes with those careful choices. "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."-Augustus Waters
3. TFIOS will make you thankful for small things, and it will make you more aware of the struggles of others. If you are healthy, it will make you grateful for having two legs and two eyes and lungs that work. It will make you grateful for being able to work and play and travel, for being able to plan return trips and mean it. It will make you grateful for going out to resturants or the mall, or driving your own car, or drinking a glass of wine. It will also make you more aware of a less acknowledged symptom that sick people face: loss of independence and wounded identity. There is a heart-wrenching scene which is well-acted by Ansel Elgort (Augustus in the movie) where he has to pull over at a gas station, unable to get out of his car, unable to do anything but cry and throw up. "I just wanted to do something normal!" he screams, agonized. Anyone who is familiar with long term or serious illness can relate to this, but sometimes we forget how important it is to be grateful for those "little things." If you can do it, then do it. We will all reach a point where we will realize how lucky we once were.
4. Speaking of that, did you know that 1 out of 3 people will be diagnosed with some form of cancer in their lifetime? Don't forget that sick people are still people. People with cancer are not non-people, which means they are not better or worse than other people. They just have to put up with a lot of unfair sh**. I think it's important that we remember that. We don't need to turn people into angels before they die, or even after. W Augustus Waters fears oblivion, and many people with cancer fear that the disease will not only kill them, it will take away who they are, and how people see and remember them. TFIOS reminds us that sick people are just that, real people who have a sickness wrecking their bodies. It's important to our friends who are sick not dehumanize them, not to make them into saints or ghosts. Remember 1 out of 3.
5. This is a real love story. As much as I enjoy (even the kind of fake) sappy, romantic stuff, real love stories are few and far between. It's about real boy and a real girl, right on the brink of an adulthood that they are unlikely to reach. And there are real parents too: caring, smart, devoted, overprotective, in-denial parents, not annoying sitcom parents. How unusual is that? Also this is not Twilight. Nobody is perfect, physically or otherwise. More than that, these characters aren't even "normal" in that typically boring, Hollywood way either. Hazel and Augustus are witty, clever, and hilarious. They are deep and adventurous beyond their physical limits. They are scared and depressed and happy and in love. You feel their love story. You feel what they feel so deeply that they become part of you and stay with you long after you finish the book.
6. "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities," -Hazel always knew her life would be short, and had given up on the things she wished her life could have in it. She had become happy with making her parents happy and "minimalizing the casualties". However, Augustus saves her from a "dead life". Their love brings a lifetime of experience to both of them. Though the "infinity" they share is shorter than other infinities, it it is still an experience of love with no bounds (infinite). It is shorter, but no less rich, than the love stories of others. Whether you are sick, or healthy and grateful, or scared of really living (I think this should sum up pretty much all of the human population), this story of two teens who loved so boundlessly within numbered days should inspire you.
So I really hope that you will read this book, and maybe "my book" will become one of "your books."
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