Sunday, January 5, 2014

Upon waking



100 days- Day 2


I have a lot of dreams with my mom in them that leave me waking up to confusion. In some dreams, everything is normal and she is just there, participating. Sometimes it is only that way until I realize, within it all, that it is unusual for her to be there.  I talk to her about this when it happens, and she just nods and gives me a sympathetic smile, “You’re right” she might say, or “I know.” Sometimes she hugs me tight and I can feel the soft warmness of her and smell her smell as I feel her arms around me and my face pressed into her shoulder.
She’s in my thoughts when I first wake up in the morning, not ready to open my eyes yet. I know if I open my eyes and see the framed picture of her sitting on my dresser, it is real.  It really happened.
There are mornings when I keep my eyes closed extra-long after waking, wanting to look at the dream, not the picture on the dresser.



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